December 6, 2001 started out as my days often did, hectic. There was no way to know that when the day was over, my life would feel as though it was over too, and would never be the same. My daughter died that day by her own hand.
Chrissie was born a preemie at 28 weeks she was my little miracle and my little angel. As she grew up, she lived each day as if it were a year. Chrissie was a joy to be around. She was an honor student, she had lots of friends and she loved life.
But there was a dark side to my daughter’s life. Chrissie suffered from depression, anorexia and multiple personalities, and it was hard on her to understand why. Even with help she did not feel there was an hope. When Chrissie gained her wings it really tore me up since she was my baby and I was supposed to protect her. Not have her take her own life when she was only 15 years and 22 days old.
This is the beginning of my new life, a life without my 15 year old daughter, a life where people treat you so differently, like it can rub off on them. I didn’t think that many of the friends I had would leave me during this time, but they.
I learned I had to wear a mask in public and grieve in private not to speak of my angel child to anyone. The few people who did stay with me let me talk about my daughter and for those few I feel blessed. Then I joined several groups that helped me through the path I now walk, and they have been there for me as well. The groups I found let me speak freely of my angel.
I was not one to believe that I would be able to hear from my daughter after she passed. I have learned that with a reputable psychic medium I can. I met Anthony in one of the groups I was in. Anthony was doing readings for people who had lost loved ones. I thought, “Okay lets try this.” I missed my baby girl so much and it was worth the try.
Anthony knew nothing about Chrissie before hand but when he was finished I felt like he knew her all her short life. Anthony told me things no one knew about except my family.
Anthony mentioned her bubbly personality which she did have. He told me that her grandparents are with her along with her dog Lacy. Anthony told me about all the little things we used to do together like going to Dairy Queen, and what her favorite ice cream was. Anthony told me she likes my curio cabinet (gift to me after she passed) that I have with things that were important to her in it. Anthony also told me that I have not changed her room since she left which is true. Anthony also told me the little things she does in the house to let me know she is here with me.
Chrissie even told me about heart problems at the time of the reading. I knew my dad had heart problems and I just did not believe she was talking about me. At the time I did not realize my blood pressure was sky high and I ended up in the hospital with chest pains.
Chrissie talked about her sister’s baby being a girl before she was born and which she just had 4 months ago. She also talked about her nephew who is 4 years old. There was no way Anthony could have gotten the information he gave me before hand. It was his wonderful gift of speaking to our loved ones who have passed on.
Just one reading with Anthony and I had answers that I needed. Anthony gave me the peace that I so searched for. I knew she was with my parents and grandparents. Chrissie was at peace which made me feel better a little. Still, I miss her each and every day. I see her friends going on with their lives and wonder what hers would have been like.
One of the most important things I learned right after Chrissie died is to take baby steps at first since I was in shock, and not to get rid of anything for the first year because I may regret it later. I still live my life one day, one step, at a time. Some days I take one step forward two back. I have her ashes at home with me and I now keep a candle going for her every day. I will continue to keep the candles going for her since she said it helped her.
I decorate the spot that I have her ashes for the holidays and on her birthday and on her angel date I release balloons for her. I speak out to any group that will listen about the warning signs of suicide and I walk each year in the Out of the Darkness Walk. Suicide is an illness caused by depression and it needs to be treated. So many young people die from suicide more than die in any war. This is why I do the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention walks.
We have a memorial foundation set up in my daughter honor. To remember her and to give scholarships to students from her high school to help them go to college. We have given a Memorial ring to the college that she wanted to go to so a student who would not be able to get the ring got one. We give books to schools in her memory. Any way that we can find to keep her memory alive is what we do. We plan to have a cottage in her memory to help young adults with anorexia.
I do know that she is finally found peace and is not in an pain. Anthony’s reading for me was so helpful in my knowing she is in Heaven and she is not in any pain and she sends her love to me. I thank God that I met Anthony for he has given me peace to know my angel is ok and I will join her when it is my time.
Anthony Quinata Medium and Clairvoyant's Weblog 